Monday, 18 November 2013

Shit just got real...

 I got let go from my job. "Budget restrictions" at work means that my budget is now restricted... severely.
I've had my pity party, sooked, cried and wondered what the hell I was going to do.  

 Me: How am I going to pay for my personal loan? How am I going to pay off my car? How will I pay my share of the mortgage repayments? How will I buy food? What am I going to do?! *insert ugly sobbing here*

 Mr P: Find another job.

 So. Simple. My first thought was to thank Captain Obvious for his shitty input, but then I stopped and thought how damn right he was. Just get another job! Crying and playing the woe-is-me card will get me nowhere while being proactive and treating it like a new opportunity will take me everywhere! In fact, I started looking at it as a challenge. Where could I be frugal as hell and still feel like I wasnt depriving us of the things we liked and enjoyed doing?

 Universe, challenge fucking accepted. We have an entire house to finish, an expensive shopping habit that needs to be broken and a budget that needs to be set out. Gotta go guys, frugality is screaming my name and I will make it my bitch! Watch this space.

Jess xx

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Are you comfy with excess?

 When I looked at my bank account last week, this is what I saw:

 But after listening to a webinar about clearing our your money blocks (I'll do another post on this shortly), things took a huge turn. One particular piece of information I took away with me was that you need to be comfortable with having excess before you can save anything. I am a culprit for spending every last cent in my bank account just because its there.  
 What's that? $5 left in my account? I'd better go and buy a magazine then!

 If I had it in my account, I'd spend it. Even if I didn't have it, I'd still spend it by using the overdraft that sometimes worked, sometimes didn't. I have never saved. I was shit at it. I'd blow it all out my ass and then tell myself that I'd put some of my pay away the next week. Big. Fucking. Lie. That is well and truly biting me in the butt now in my adult years. I had to get a loan for my first car, admit to having more than one payday advance loan and had to rely on my hard-working Mr P to come up with the deposit for the house we're building. I feel sick with guilt just thinking about how much I've had to rely on avenues other than my own to get what I want. 

 This week is a hell of a lot better. I can confidently say that all that bullshit is out the window. I might not be a millionaire right now, but my savings account is holding a little excess right now. A whole $11 is burning a hole in the bank. That's not much to some people, but its a huge turning point for me. Seeing it go up each week, even if its only a few bucks at a time, is motivation enough to keep doing it. 

 Its like I was afraid of having excess. I'm not sure if its because I didn't think I deserved it or maybe because I felt like I was missing out if I wasn't spending it on something. Now, I actually have a healthy relationship with money and I love it! Everyone loves money, I know, but even though I am still broke as fuck I'm not scared of it or intimidated by it. I'm thinking about it constantly, but only because I want to learn more about it and how I can attract it. I actually love my money and it seems to be loving me back!

Jess x

Sunday, 14 July 2013

I don't want to be a fat, drunk, broke bitch.

There are three things I know I definitely don't want to be anymore.

I don't want to be fat. 
I don't want to be drunk. 
I don't want to be broke. 

The first one I've been dealing with for quite a few years. This is a work in progress and I'm aiming for exercise to be my replacement addiction to take over from shopping. This is totally something that I'm linking to my money fuck-ups. I'm starting to find that how I spend my money is totally reflective of how I feel about myself and my situations.

The second one is a recent discovery. Normally its the hangover phase of this stage that people avoid but I've realised that its just a big fucking waste of money. I spend $5 on a glass of wine (and that's at a stingy-ass pub), I'd have ten drinks and get blotto. $50 later, my wallet is a bit lighter, and my head is very fucking heavy as it hangs in the toilet bowl for the next day. Its a waste of my time too. 

 Hence, my third avoidance. Being broke. Ergh. It feels just as bad as being hungover! But, apparently I'm scared of having excess. Yep, I'm afraid of having money leftover and scared of what I might be missing out on if I don't spend it on something. I can swear black & blue that I want to be a wealthy mother fucker but ultimately, I'm shit scared of having money sitting in my account when I should be paying off my car, or the mortgage, or buying a new doona cover, or a new pair of overpriced shoes.

 But the links become obvious. All those shit pop & hip hop songs that claim that money doesn't make you happy and it doesnt make the world go round... FUCKING LIARS. It totally does. Money can buy happiness, but you dont necessarily have to be rolling in it. The five bucks that you find in your jeans pocket on washing day will always make you happy, and anyone who claims that they don't get excited when their tax return comes back can blow it out their arse. 

 Happy with your body, happy with your mind, happy with your wealth. It all has to be in line to get your shit sorted, dudes and dudettes.

Jess x

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

A typical Aries...

 As a typical Aries is fast on their feet and will not sit still, their money habits are the same. Aries like to spend their money when they have it, and are likely to spend without thinking. Since Aries is a fire sign, fire creates impulsiveness. Therefore, if an Aries is carrying money, they may spend all of their savings in one swoop. Moreover, Aries is exceptionally aggressive. They desire to make money as much as they spend it.
Given that the older Aries are generally more aware and organized with their money savings and finances, some advice for the Aries would be to prioritize their spending and keep money in a savings account for future investments. |1|

 Well hello truth fist, you have punched me in the face! After writing my first post I was curious to see what my star sign had to say about me & money, and I stumbled on this little nugget of wisdom. Mr Ram, you have a-fucking-lot to answer for! This describes me down to the ground and right back up again. 

  I both dig and doubt astrology and all that shit in the same basket. I've always been curious and have been to a psychic or two in my lifetime, been fed a load of bullshit but also been told a few interesting things. Like, I am rubbish with my money management (no shit, I just paid $50 to get into this Psychic Fair. Obviously I don't comprehend spening my dosh on quality products) but that I would find myself in a finance relate job. I laughed at her. Really? Me in finance? I think your incense is a bit strong lady, take another whiff. Who in their right mind would allow me to control their money?

 Apparently even my birthday dictates my attitude to money. If your bithdate is two digits, add them together until you get one number and supposedly it should sum you up. Click on the link underneath to check it out.
 3: This is a naturally lucky number that makes money easily. However one of the famous characteristics of a 3 is that the money is spent as much as it is made. So it is not a great number for the accumulation of funds. The 3 tends to always be a "penny short and a day late" even if they are rich. They are also very likely to get into debt yet at the same time they get out debt easier than other numbers... |2|

 Again, I am summed up by a numerologist who probably googled this result... like I did. But its still a little bit of a relief to know that my birthdate is to blame for being broke-as-sin. Phew!

 Honestly, I just googled this rubbish for shits and giggles. Astro-shit aside, you can't blame this crap for your spending or (lack of) saving habits. It is totally something that has to be learnt. You need to train yourself to think of money in a different way and not abuse it so much that it decides to leave the warmth of your wallet and take off into the big, wide world or more correctly, the comfort of a shop cash register. It all starts with understanding where the fuck you are throwing it away and how you can be bit wiser.

 Friends, knowledge is power and I intend to turn us all into very powerful mofos. 

Jess x

Sunday, 7 July 2013

If you want to feel rich...



 Just putting it out there, I fucking suck at managing money. It makes both the highpoint of my week when my $704 weekly wage gets paid into my account, and the depressingly low point when I check my balance and a big fat $0.00 stares me in the face just a few days later. Its no secret that my priorities are well and truly bogus and I'll happily put off my car loan payment to be able to buy an overly priced jumper with a brand name stamped on it. Now that I am an adult at 24 years old, I will very soon be paying a mortgage for our house that my love, Mr P, had to get a loan for because the bank gave a big FUCK YOU to my credit rating and pretty much laughed in my face. I guess this is where the truth has come from. Its time to stop being a spoilt-but-broke-as-shit little girl and grow the hell up to at least manage to pay my bills on time and have a bit of coin left to buy a coffee on Tuesday night before payday.

 It is totally not as easy as it sounds though. Don't Spend Money. Um, who the hell is capable of that?! Everything costs money these days, and blow me down if the price of things doesn't go up every other fucking week! Perfect example, Mr P and I went to the cinema yesterday. We had a free ticket because we're members of the Grand Cinema Club (sound pretentious much?) so saved $11 but fuck me, to buy one ticket, a large popcorn, two frozen cokes and a bag of half-air-half-Maltesers it cost $30! THIEVES! But hell, we paid it. Actually, I paid it, knowing full well that I only had $40 left in my bank account after that.

 And so the cycle continues. I spend more than I should and wait out the painful few days before my payday again. Mr P works away for a week at a time and sometimes, I'll just have noodles for tea because they only cost 60c at Coles. While I'm waiting for the kettle to boil to cook them, I'll be online shopping and wearing something new when I sit down to eat them. Told you. Priorities = fucked!

 So, by admitting to it I'm acknowledging that I need to do something about it. I've said it before, time and time again but enough is enough, right? I want to be able to know that if my car decides to shit itself, I've got money there to pay for it or that I've paid my insurance that month if some bastard runs up the back of me at the traffic lights while I'm on my way to the shops. Ok, so I've got a lot of work to do. There is alot of boring-ass finance shit to learn about and understand but the idea of this blog is to share with you what I find on this journey that is becoming a responsible-as-fuck adult and living a fucking cool life on a stingy ass budget.

Jess x